Tag Archives: Felicity Frockaccino

The curious creatures of Auckland burlesque – revisited

The curious creatures of Auckland burlesque: revisited 

A little while ago, Mumpty wrote some fictional stories on a few of her favourite Auckland burlesquers.  And this Friday night, she’s done a wee update.  Do enjoy …

Duchess deBerry

Galactic

Remember that saying:

Always be you …
unless you can be a fierce, intergalactic alien queen.
Then, always be a fierce, intergalactic alien queen.

No?  Seriously?  Well, it was inspired by Duchess deBerry, known simply to her nearest and dearest as The Duchess.

The Duchess had always been interested in space travel and so when her dear friend Sir Richard Branson (who rather fancied her) offered her the opportunity to accompany him on one of the first Virgin Airways trips to the moon, she jumped at the chance.  What antipodean temptress wouldn’t really?

Soon after the initial excitement had died down though,  The Duchess’s mind turned to more practical matters – what would she wear on the moon? She had no intention of wearing one of those ridiculous Michelin suits that’s for sure, but her current wardrobe didn’t inspire either.   As always though, The Duchess had a plan,  and that plan involved her illustrious pals at Asphyxia Couture and a brief to put together a little something something for her soiree on the moon.

DuchessdeBerry
Image by Black Friday Photography

She rather  liked what they came up with – it was certainly a statement piece, but practical too she thought.  Her hands were free and she had plenty of things to tie moon rocks and that kind of thing onto.  Sure, she could have done with a handbag, and it might get a bit chilly, but she wasn’t going to be outside on the moon for long periods of time was she?  She assumed she’d be able to pop in and out of the space shuttle at will – I mean even though she wasn’t paying for it, this was a commercial flight, and surely Sir Richard wouldn’t allow a passenger to get cold on the moon?  That would be ridiculous.

No, this little number was perfect and The Duchess shivered with delight as she settled down happily into the seat beside Sir Richard, gratefully accepting the glass of Cristal he handed her. #suchfun

Lilly Loca: disrupted

Lilly Loca, as we know, is a time traveller.  Just last year in fact, she travelled  from 1920’s New York to 2016 in Auckland, where she spends a great deal of time pirouetting seductively on stages around that fair city wearing the showgirl’s version of an itsty-bitsy-teeny-weeny-yellow-polka-dot-bikini and a purple-hued “do” Ru Paul would be proud to own.  But that isn’t enough for Lilly’s outrageous soul, so in an age where “disruption” is a buzz word in business circles, Lilly has decided to try a bit of disruption herself, and thus Gary Krumbert has emerged onto the scene. 

When I say Gary has emerged onto the scene, I mean more that he has BURST onto the scene and not in a glamorous, overnight-sensation kind of way; but in a more clumsy, goofy kind of way.  Because that’s the kind of guy Gary is; he’s a goofy drag king, born of the always glamorous, and sometimes androgynous, Lilly Loca.  He’s been around a while, but more recently has begun to make his presence known.

Gary_ruffles

One might be forgiven for assuming Gary is the quieter side of the Loca/Krumbert duo, and indeed he does tend to fly under the radar a bit.  I think his slightly nerdy persona  engenders a level of trust in people that allows him to get under their skin without them really even knowing it.

GaryKrumbert
Image by Peter Jennings

For Gary is most certainly not the quieter side of the duo.  Recently a naive judge referred to him as the “Veteran Virgin King” – well, let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth.  Gary, in fact, is quite inspired by that raunchy, ginger-bearded Tudor King of old, King Henry the VIIIth.  So much so, in fact, that he has a set of silk stockings and a hat set with a feather on a jaunty angle that he brings out on certain occasions, and it really does drive the ladies quite mad with lust; as you can imagine I’m sure.

So this one time, at Drag Camp, Gary did something quite naughty – even for Gary.  He TOOK Lilly Loca’s rainbow-hued “do” and used it onstage as a “costume piece” shall we say.  To make the situation much, much worse, the costume piece was a merkin (uuuuuuuggghhhhhh – I know, right!)  Lilly, as you can imagine, was LIVID when she recognised it from her front-row seat in the audience.  She leapt out of her seat, scaled the stage and advanced upon Gary with a look in her eye that inspired sheer terror in his.  Such terror, in fact, that he scuttled offstage at the speed of light with Lilly’s “do” flapping between his legs and Lilly in hot pursuit.  The audience squirmed uncomfortably as a loud slap, a shrill squeal and a muffled thump could be heard backstage.  A few more thumps and squeals occurred and a couple of audience members burst into titters of barely suppressed nervous laughter, before the EMCEE Felicity Frockaccino hastily took over and began to belt out a rather raucous version of “I will survive” in a trembling vibrato.

Broken legRumour has it Gary was EXTREMELY lucky to get away with just a broken leg and he’s currently overseas on an extended vacay while his poor, battered body recuperates.  Reliable sources say he’ll be back when the heat dies down and Lilly has calmed her farm.    #suchfun

Leda Petit: the rise and fall (and rise) of an assassin …

Leda_champagne
Image by James Yang

When last we left Leda Petit, she was doing well as a secret assassin, making money by the bushel and lurking in bars, drinking champagne out of shoes and fraternising alluringly with her marks before she made her final, lethal move. 

Leda_fraternising

But things have gone rather downhill since then …

Leda_heroinchic
Image by James Yang

Sadly, our Leda has become a little too fond of the high-rolling lifestyle she can now afford as a result of her prodigious “hit” rate.  It’s a never-ending cycle of a whiskey here, a cigar there – a line of coke up her nose; “but never before lunchtime darling – I have standards.

Leda_mess
Image by Peter Jennings

One particularly snipey member of the Auckland paparazzi could almost be  excused for comparing Leda’s behaviour to that of Amy Winehouse at her worst.   But really, that would be unfair – as she says, Leda has standards, and she would NEVER go on stage and deliver a less than stellar performance like Amy did on the odd occasion.

Leda_paparazzi

Yes, while these days Leda is having a lot more fun than your average punter, she is also getting the job done.  I mean really, when you think about it, she’s living a glamorous Old Hollywood lifestyle that rivals that of Frank Sinatra and his cronies.  Of course, she’s doing it Her Way (do you see what I did there?) and I have it on good authority that despite the heavy nights and the early morning stumbles home to her apartment, Leda can be relied upon to be bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and ready to mingle come midnight when the “respectable” bars open and Leda’s marks await.  Why look …

LedaSee what I mean?  She really is a consummate professional, our Leda. #suchfun   

Yours in updated curious creatures …  

Mumpty

In the audience at Dirty Martini …

In the audience at
Miss Dirty Martini …

Dirty Martini
All images by David Rowe Photography

Wow … for once, Mumpty is nearly speechless!  ** Warning** pic-heavy post – but when it comes to burlesque, those are the best posts right?!  For the record, all images in this post were taken by the truly marvellous, burlesque photographer extraordinaire, David Rowe from David Rowe Photography – just book him!

I have been to many a burlesque show over the last few years, but this one, featuring the internationally famous, Miss Dirty Martini, was one INCREDIBLE show!  Not only did Dirty herself prove from the very first second she stepped on the stage, why she has the massive following she does, but the other performers sparkled their little hearts out as well!  (To read about when Mumpty actually met Dirty IRL, click here.)

FYI, for what it’s worth, Cabaret Royale was held at Glamilton’s premiere burlesque venue, Altitude Bar on the 17th of April!

Cab Royale poster
For the first time I’ve ever seen, there was actually a queue waiting outside to get into the venue before it started – aaaah the power of the international phenomenon that she is, Miss Dirty Martini!

The evening was MC’d by the gloriously, hilariously outrageous Felicity Frockaccino – she of the comic-clad statuesque figure and the towering heels that she managed to haul herself up on to the stage in, more times than I think was safe!  The bartender, Zac, was the somewhat unwilling object of Ms Frockaccino’s affections – it was very, very funny to watch him squirm – but actually he handled the attention incredibly well!  I wonder how often Ms Frockaccino really does get beaten up after the show though?!

Felicity
The glorious MC Felicity Frockaccino

Aside from being a rather superb MC, Felicity Frockaccino also performed a fabulous little number in the second half of the show that had Mumpty and her bestie, Miss Monique Sweet, in fits of laughter!

Felicity 2The show was opened by recently-formed Glamilton troupe, The Gorgeous Glamiltonians, who performed a beautiful, colourful and cheeky Four Seasons routine – which was a tribute to Dirty Martini herself.  The Gorgeous Glamiltonians choreographed the piece and took some of their inspiration, particularly for the fan work, from a group fan act Dirty did a while ago.

Gorgeous Glamiltonians
The Gorgeous Glamiltonians.

The routine was fan-based with a troupe feel to it, complimented by individual performances.  As one audience member put it later, it was a visual symphony!  The Gorgeous Glamiltonians troupe is made up of:

The Pocket Rocket – Miss Ooh La La Paree.

Ooh La La
Ms Ooh La La Paree.

The fabulous Miss Ruby Spice – captured here in one of my favourite Ruby “bustin’ a move” moments! Ruby Spice

One of my long-time, super-sexy favourites, Azure D’Murre.

Azure
Azure D’Murre

And my magnificent friend and burlesque madam, Ms Tittle Tattle.

Ms Tittle Tattle
Ms Tittle Tattle, in quite possibly the sparkliest gown I’ve ever seen!

Now I can’t remember the exact order of the routines that followed, so I’m just going to mention them all and hope I don’t get it too far wrong!

The gorgeous Miss Cherry Lashes performed a fabulous, gold-inspired routine – the pièce de résistance of which was when she smeared herself in gold paint – a very theatrical moment indeed!  Well done Miss Cherry Lashes!

Cherry Lashes
Miss Cherry Lashes – gold!

Belly dancing made it’s shimmy-ing, sexy self well-known in the fabulous routine performed by Leggy Luna Lucy.  Now Felicity Frockaccino informed the audience this was Miss Lucy’s last performance – I most certainly hope that is not the case! Leggy Luna Lucy is a brilliant performer and the audience was wowed by a super-funky routine where that booty was shaken and stirred like the very best martini (did you see how I made that link here?!)

Leggy Luna Lucy
Leggy Luna Lucy.

We were also treated to a wonderful routine by the lady who was clever enough to bring Miss Dirty Martini to New Zealand; Catherine Smith (Owner; Caburlesque International, Director; Miss Burlesque NZ) who performed as Sadie, a very sexy and somewhat naughty Cleaning Lady!

Sadie
Sadie. Believe me ladies, you would NOT hire this woman!

Glamilton performer, Pussy Gallorez performed her fire-inspired routine and released a shower of red glitter onto the stage (and other places too I believe, but we won’t go into that here!)

Galorezz
Pussy Galorezz – and is that Felicity Frockaccino’s glass dangerously left there on the stage I spy?!

Burlesque diva and Miss Burlesque NZ 2012, Miss Bettsy Rose Lee, performed her mega-popular, multi-award-winning Cupcake Odyssey routine – I’ve seen it a few times now and I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of it!  Any routine that ends with the performer stuffing her face with cake and sprinkles has got my vote!

Cupcake
Miss Bettsy Rose Lee in her Cupcake Odyssey.

Queen of the Cards, Cherie D’Bauche, is a Rotorua-based performer, and I have not seen her perform before.  I really enjoyed her card-inspired routine and I thought her costuming was gorgeous.  I look forward to seeing her perform again some time soon.

Cards
Cherie D’Bauche

And then … and then … it was the long-awaited turn of the magnificent Miss Dirty Martini (and not before some heckling from the audience, which Ms Frockaccino handled with the tact and sophistication we had come to expect from her!)

What can I say about Dirty’s act?  It was a mastery of comedic burlesque and demonstrated all the components necessary for a good routine (as identified by Dirty at dinner – see here if you don’t know what I’m talking about.)  Aside from all that, it was visually stunning; Dirty is hilarious; her timing is impeccable and she is just THAT.BLOODY.GOOD!  A true burlesque superstar!  Dirty performed her infamous Swan Routine, and it was, quite simply, brilliant.  That is a very inappropriate swan by the way **insert lascivious wink here**

Swan

My only complaint?  We needed MORE DIRTY!

Dirty 2

So that, my friends, was how it was to be in the audience of a Dirty Martini Burlesque Show – in short – fabulous!

It was great to see so many new faces in the audience – obviously Dirty’s fame has spread as far as Glamilton!  There were also some familiar faces and it was just as good to see them – and a special mention of our newly-crowned Miss Pinup NZ 2015 – Bettie Rage.

Curtain Call
The curtain call …

Well done to Miss Mollie Tov who did a wonderful job of being the Stage Kitty, and to the Door Dollies, Miss Chevious Cinders and Pixie Twist.

And … one of my favourite pics from the evening – yes, that is David Rowe, our trusty photographer, with the one and only Miss Dirty Martini!  What IS he doing?!

David and Dirty

Love and totally inappropriate swans …

Mumpty