Tag Archives: Miss Scarlett Soiree

Valen-Tease: a review and poem

Valen-Tease: a review in pictures
(presented via some very poor poetry!)

Valen-Tease lineup

Last night’s Valen-Tease
Really was the bee’s knees
I had a blast – I always do
And here’s my review
Just for you …Oooh la la

Kicking off the show, was Miss Ooh La La Paree
Those glorious legs for all to see
Resplendent she was, in purple and mint
To many an eye, she bought a glint

Next on stage was Pussy Galorrez
Sexy, sparkly and a sight to behold
There was glitter everywhere
And look, it was gold!


Following Pussy was Miss Bettsy Rose Lee
All gingham and boots and laughing with glee
She busted her moves all over the stage
And left us all in a jealous rage (why can’t we dance like that?!)


Christine the chanteuse took the stage next
The voice of an angel, with style to burn
She left us wishing she’d have another turn
(Which, luckily, she did!)


MisRed was on fire
She lit up the scene
The lust and desire
By all could be seen

Mr B Frank and Pixie Twist form the crazy duo, Frank’n’Twist

Frank’n’Twist opened Act number 2
They’re crazy as hell
But boy, you can tell
This fella totally loves his gal


Then Pussy came on
And went down to a mirkin
You could see the audience wondering
How that thing was workin’!

Bettsy Boobs
Miss Bettsy Rose Lee
Then sang about boobs
For which, you can tell
She was qualified well!

Miss Chevious Cinders
Was all about lights
A standing ovation
Totally made her night


Closing the show
With all that she had
Was the stunning MisRed
And wow, she was rad

Pixie Twist was our MC
She did it with style
Totes inappropro at times
Which caused many to smile

The audience battled with assels galore
Best audience ever on that score for sure!

And that was my night
You can tell I had fun
I’m SUCH a bad poet
But now it’s all done
(And you won’t have to read any more!)

Special thanks to: Alyson, April and Sonia for handling the sound and lighting (and lots of other stuff!); the shy and reserved Obsidian and the beautiful Miss Scarlett Soiree for their wonderful stage kittying antics; Miss Chevious Cinders for being Door Dolly and as always, amazing photography by David Rowe Photography, with second shooter Nick Von Deursen Photography.   And of course, big congratulations to Crazy Diamond’s producers, Miss Ooh La La Paree and Miss Bettsy Rose Lee – ably assisted  by the wonderful Azure D’Murre.

And, because I can, here is a blurry photo of me and my divine friend Allysa, who was a burlesque noobie – and who loved every minute of it!


Valentines hearts and flowers (and boobs and butts!)


Crazy Diamond @ The Meteor: Mumpty’s Review

Crazy Diamond @ The Meteor:
Mumpty’s review 

Crazy DiamondNov15
The cast and crew at Crazy Diamond

Last night I attended the final Crazy Diamond Burlesque Show for the year and what a cracker it was, with not only superb local talent but some fabulously inspirational national acts as well.

Mumpty loves seeing acts she’s never seen before and tonight was a goodie for that, with Volumptuous Twinkle, Anglebert Humpermink, The Pixie & The Goth and of course, the debut act from Obsidian (a debut which Simon Cowell in particular, had been looking forward to apparently!)

Crazy Diamond is the production company of Glamilton’s glamorous duo, Miss Bettsy Rose Lee ~ Burlesque Diva and Miss Ooh La La Paree – Chic, Unique & Magnifique, ably assisted by Azure D’Murre.  These fabulous ladies love to showcase New Zealand’s burlesque talent, but also to mix it up with some non-burlesque talent and plenty of debut acts as well, which makes for a guaranteed good night.

(All photographs taken by burlesque photographer extraordinaire, David Rowe of David Rowe Photography.)  

Group photo

Let the show begin …

Honey Suckle – Return to Eden

Setting the scene was the utterly fabulous Honey Suckle – I have never seen Honey Suckle perform before and what struck me straight away was her absolute confidence onstage – she OWNED that stage and I suspect she might have even been born there! Honey Suckle was the winner of the international scholarship at the recent NZ Burlesque Festival and I can see why.  She was so inspiring to watch; fabulous facials and girl has the mooooves!

Obsidian – The Boss

Obsidian’s debut performance was next.  Now if you don’t know Obsidian, he is very modest, and he shyly told us all out the back that his debut performance had been described as “The most highly anticipated debut performance in modern times” (Simon Cowell) and “a must-see event that will truly enrich your life” (Dalai Lama) – amongst other things!  I am pleased to say, it was VERY entertaining – Obsidian did a wonderful job strutting his stuff and another man/boylesquer is always welcome on the scene!  Well done Obsidian – Mumpty looks forward to seeing many more performances.  Just imagine how you will be when you come out of your shell!!!

Ooh La La 1
Miss Ooh La La Paree – Queen of Atlantis

Miss Ooh La La Paree is a seasoned performer and never fails to give it her all, meaning the audience can always be assured of a treat when she sashays onto the stage.  This time was no exception, but what really knocked Mumpty’s socks off was her costume!  Un-freakin-believable!  It really and truly was a visual spectacular from start to finish – that cape.  Ooooooh! This costume has been almost three years in the making I believe and Miss Ooh La La has been working closely with the incredibly talented Judy Dee of CurvyCouture to bring it to it’s glorious final state.  As Honey Suckle said backstage, however, “a burlesque costume is never finished” and Judy has a few alterations in mind – but honestly – WOW doesn’t even BEGIN to describe it! The beautiful gloves were bedazzled by the fabulous Holly Dai who was recently in New Zealand performing at the NZ Burlesque Festival.

The Goth and The Pixie
The Goth & The Pixie

Talented local duo The Goth & The Pixie were next up.  Young, gorgeous, kooky and hauntingly good, they performed two pieces (the first one I kinda missed unfortunately as I was out the back) – the second was a cover of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game” and I could have listened all night.  I really enjoy these interludes – they provide a nice foil for the burlesque acts.

Volumptuous Twinkle
Volumptuous Twinkle

Hailing from Wellington, Volumptous Twinkle was another act that was new-to-Mumpty – bawdy and hilarious, Volumptuous Twinkle was an absolute star.  I LOVED her (very wicked) costume (which I got the opportunity to see up-close backstage) and I could tell from the audience’s laughter, so did they!

Tittle Tattle Mek us a brew
Ms Tittle Tattle – Mek us a brew

Mumpty loves a bit of burlesque comedy, and Ms Tittle Tattle’s “Mek us a brew” was funny, innovative and clever.  Most of the other acts I’ve seen Ms Tittle Tattle perform are classic and sultry, so it was awesome to see her draw yet another weapon in her performance arsenal!   Love Ms Tittle Tattle – she’s sassy, sexy and now funny as well!

Honey Suckle – Magic Bunny

Act two kicked off with the glorious Honey Suckle’s second act – this time performing her much-anticipated “Magic Bunny.”  Prop placement caused a bit of consternation out back for the stage kittens and me, but the stage kittens were absolutely wonderful and got everything set just perfectly so Honey Suckle’s act went like clockwork.  It was an amazing act full of energy, vibrancy and again – she just exuded confidence on stage.  Honey Suckle is THE.BOMB.DIGGITY!  Also – act one; started with an apple; act two – a carrot.  Go figure.  And … an imaginative use of balloons by Honey Suckle!

Ooh La La Police
Miss Ooh La La Paree – Policewoman to Jailbird

I’ve seen Miss Ooh La La perform this act before and I love it every time!  It really showcases her comic sense of timing and the incredible facials she makes crack me up every time.  And those pasties (“Bad” and “Girl”) are a delight!

Mollie Tov
Miss Mollie Tov – Sway, Big Spender

Glamilton burlesquer, Miss Mollie Tov, shimmied her way onto the stage through the audience, where she proceeded to bombard it with glitter!  Glitter, fans and a bit of “Sway” never goes astray right?!

Tittle Tattle Creole
Gorgeous Ms Tittle Tattle – Creole Nights

Back to her sassy, sexy best with this one … Ms Tittle Tattle had the audience spellbound with her cheeky teasing and superb tassel-twirling – no wonder she won the Biggest Tease award at The Grand Tease recently!  Her costume was beautiful and she looked incredible – big ups to you Ms Tittle Tattle!

Anglebert Humpermink – Quando

All good things have to end, and drawing the show to it’s magnificent close was the hilarious, and ever-so-sexy Anglebert Humpermink.  Profusely hairy and delightfully portly, Angelbert could only be described as sex-on-a-stick – an absolute sidesplittingly funny, joy to watch!

Fiasco Belle
Fiasco Belle – MC Wonderful!

A final mention now to the wonderful, wonderful MC for the evening – Fiasco Belle.   I loved the way she pulled the show together with wit, charm, some tragic (but funny!) jokes and her own engaging character.   Fiasco – you were truly brilliant and I hope to see A LOT more of you in the MC role in future.

Stage Kittens: Aly Cat and Miss Scarlett Soiree

Big thanks also to our brilliant stage kittens Aly Cat and Miss Scarlett Soiree, who did their jobs sooo well and kept everything humming onstage.  I feel like the importance of the role of stage kitten is underestimated sometimes and these girls rocked it.

Door Dolly – Miss Chevious Cinders

And of course one cannot forget, our glamorous Door Dolly, the Grand Dame of NZ Burlesque (check out her sash!), Miss Chevious Cinders. 

And now for some backstage antics:

Top L-R: Obsidian strikes a casual pose; Miss Ooh La La Paree in her wonderful Atlantis outfit, with it’s designer, Judy Dee of CurvyCourture. Bottom L-R: Pixie Twist assists Miss Mollie Tov with her corset; Judy and Miss Ooh La La again!

And last but not least … Mumpty – on her way to stage-manage the last Crazy Diamond show for 2015.  I couldn’t find any good pics so I tried to do something vaguely interesting with this one!   Do.not.look.at.the.wonky.lipstick.


Shakin’ and shimmyin’ …